Modest

It seems like many of the books I have been reading lately have dedicated substantial discussion to the global trend of corporations gaining power and influence in politics and culture. As someone who has always paid attention to business, I really thought I was more in tune with how it fits into our society. I have often found myself defending business interests in conversations with those whose politics lays to the left of my own. Now, I increasingly see corporations, especially large public corporations, as a societal disease. Now, I see that the rights corporations have gained for themselves, and the imbalance of resources they posess, give them the power to shape law and public opinion according to their own profit motives. I don't entirely fault the people who run them and work in them since they are more or less interchangable parts within the larger machine. It is the non-human paper entity itself that has a hunger for profit, and a momentum difficult to slow down as things stand in the world today. Kind of like the way a computer virus spreads itself; it's not personal, it's just programming.

My own views toward my place in the business world have shifted little by little over time. At first, I was somewhat ambitious. In my work, I took business needs to heart and gave everything I could muster to The Company. I was on call 24x7. I didn't take vacation. I let business problems become my problems. Then Shelly, a good friend, and professional mentor, took his own life in response to business problems he had, himself, taken to heart too closely. After that, I was able to see business and work for what it is - something much less important than the people who work in it.

This month, I was offered a promotion - an opportunity to take on more responsibility, have more control, travel frequently around the US, and probably make substantially more money. It was the natural path for someone doing well in a big company. Not only that, it's the path we are programmed to go after. How could you ever turn down the opportunity to "grow" professionally?

Well I turned it down. I didn't want to travel for work. I like it here at home. I didn't want more responsibility. I have enough. Who doesn't want more money? But I really have enough of that too. All I was able to see ahead was a degraded quality of life. And, as pessimistic as that sounds, I felt I made the right choice. And I was so pleased this week when I came across this passage by Paul Hawken in the The Ecology of Commerce.

"I suspect many people who get involved with business have a modest self that resists being adrenalized and overworked by incessant growth. In most cases, we see this subdued side of ourselves as something to overcome, a limit, a reluctant and unassuming persona that needs motivation tapes and seminars to mold it into the obsessive, success-driven, capable person the late-night cable programs assure us is hiding within."

I'm happy to be moving toward my modest self rather than away from him.