Cleanse

Monica originally got me interested in the concept of fasting. A few years ago, I saw that she had a "Fasting for Dummies" book on her nightstand. My first instinct was to laugh for about five continuous minutes. How in the world could anyone need a big thick book to explain how to stop putting food in his or her mouth? It's simple. Just don't! Right?

With some encouragement, I cracked open the book and read some of it. As I read, I realized the book wasn't so much explaining how to stop eating. It was explaining the benefits and mechanisms of fasting, what to expect, and how to prepare.

Until then, I had always thought of fasts as usually performed in the context of spiritual practice, political statements, or dieting. It had never really occurred to me that a fast could be of any value to me.

One particular benefit of fasting rang especially true for me as I read further. The book tried to convey the substantial amount of energy our bodies use on a daily basis to digest food. During a fast, the left over energy not being used for digestion is available for the body to use for other purposes such as self-healing and improved mental function. Like most people who have experienced food coma, I was immediately able to relate to this energy rhetoric and take it seriously. Even though I already knew eating a meal used some energy, it never occurred to me that my body might do brand new magic things merely by quitting food for a few days. Maybe it was worth a try.

Back then, I initially tried a three day fast. I can't remember how far I actually got. Not far enough to realize any major benefits. But I did feel that I gained a measure of power over food. I knew that I could do it longer under the right circumstances. But somehow those circumstances never seemed to surface. Or maybe I just wasn't committed.

But now during my two months off of work, I have a comfort zone to worth within. No work meetings or deadlines to worry about being woozy for. No big eating or drinking occasions to get in the way. Erin initially brought up The Master Cleanse, a no-less-than ten day diet consisting of nothing but a drink made of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayanne pepper, and water. She had done it once before and said it felt great. I have heard of the cleanse from many people around town by now, all with stories of great benefits. She was looking forward to doing it again after running her marathon in May. It was a good opportunity for me to give fasting another try, and so I said I would do it with her after we got back from Mexico.

So now here we are - the first day of the fast. I didn't do a whole lot of research. I am relying mainly on Erin's experience with it. Also, from what I have read, there doesn't seem to be much to it. The hard part is - you guessed it - not eating.

Below I will chronicle the highlights of each day of the cleanse. I'll add more to this post as the days go on.

Day 1 - We went shopping for the ingredients of our magic drink. Ideally, the cleanse should be done with all organic ingredients, so we headed to Rainbow Grocery, the wholesomest of all wholesome stores in San Francisco. There we loaded up on organic lemons, organic maple syrup, and organic cayenne pepper. Our first batch of drink was a little bit clunky and awkward to build, but to my surprise it didn't taste too bad at all. I think I can survive on this for a few days. Sipping it the first few hours, it seemed like a piece of cake. I even took a bike ride since I was still feeling fairly energetic. I heard the first couple of days can be rough hungerwise. It wasn't until later that I realized I was going through the day's batch kind of fast. The notion of conserving it hadn't occurred to me. This could make my days hungrier than I first thought. I'll have to supplement the drink with water, but water just won't feel as satisfying.

Day 3 - This was the hardest day so far. I was having a hard time keeping my mind off of food. It became clear just how much time each day is spent thinking about, acquiring, preparing, or enjoying food. In addition, my social life tends to revolve around occasions when people are eating or drinking. I regularly visit my good friend Shannon during her lunch break at her restaurant to share a bite. I have two regular pub nights during the week where I meet up with separate sets of friends. I like to go out dancing frequently and usually have a cocktail or two in the process. San Francisco is an eating and drinking city. It's what we do here. Luckily I have a hobby project I have been meaning to spend more time on so at least I have something to focus on during my idle time. Erin and I took a drive out to Bolinas as a non-food activity. While sitting on the beach together, all we could talk about was what we plan to eat when we're off the fast. Later we went to see a movie. That was a good low energy, no food activity, but by the end of the night both of us had substantial headaches. Day 4 has to get better.

Day 4 - The laxative portion of the diet is kind of messing with my stomach and my sleep. Tea at night and salt water flush in the morning. I'm not too sure about this salt water thing. Critics of the fast point out it flushes out needed digestive bacteria. It also tastes terrible. It is basically drinking two full pint glasses of sea water. It just feels wrong. Besides that, I'm kind of tethered to my house for at least an hour or two afterward. Now that my gut seems to be fairly clear of all solid food, I may not continue it. We'll see. Besides all that, I feel pretty good. I feel less hungry today, and even do a light workout at the gym. I'm not super obsessed with food, but still feel quite nostalgic about it. Even though I feel better, I have a nagging concern about my nutrition. Primarily I am concerned about my calorie intake. I calculated my diet to be about 1000 calories per day. Mainly I just don't want to lose much more weight. I'm already down three pounds in four days. All I can think is that by tomorrow I'll be about half way done. Although now I'm starting to read about potential health dangers of this thing. Am I just looking for an out so I can have a hamburger? Not sure, but I'm definitely keeping an open mind about finishing or continuing. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Day 6 - Tired of nothing but food-related life all around us, Erin and I drove up to Harbin Hot Springs to soak in the soothing spring water and enjoy nature in a relaxing setting. The water was just what the doctor ordered. We fit right in with our bottles of drink. There is relatively little food around there unless you go looking for it, so we had a break from temptation even if only for a day or two.

Day 7 - After getting home from the mountains, I was starting to feel kind of loopy. Not in any sort of physically uncomfortable way. But I just felt kind of, well, dumb. I lost my keys, and after searching the house and garage for an hour, I finally found them stuffed into my shoe on my shoe rack with a piece of paper stuffed in behind them. Ugh. When I went to leave the house, I pulled my keys out of my pocket to unlock the door - even though, after four years of living here, I am well aware I don't need a key to exit. Double ugh. That sort of thing. My mind felt foggy and it was frustrating. At this point I started to have some concern about my physical state. Am I hurting myself? Erin had a terribly rough day at work feeling hungry and tired. We had tickets to see a show, but she just felt terrible and couldn't go. We discussed seriously quitting the next day. We decided to sleep on it and see how we felt in the morning.

Day 8 - We push forward. I think both of us are determined to finish what we started. Neither of us feels as bad as the day before. Although I am still concerned about my weight loss, I decide it is nothing that I cannot replace. Even though I am thinner than I'd like to be, I decide losing my gut and mini spare tire is nothing to lament. That night I hung out with my other friend Erin who is studying nutrition. She told me that we are definitely not drinking enough of the potion. We should be taking in at least 1200 calories per day, and we are really only getting about 1000. This is probably the reason that we are dragging. I personally find it tough to drink enough as it is. I could chug more. I guess I'll have to. At this point I am still considering making day 10 an ease out day since the first ease out day is nothing but orange juice anyway. But my other voice says that is still quitting the cleanse too soon. Again, we'll sleep on it.

Day 9 - Erin feels pretty good today. I am not. I don't feel physically bad. I'm not even really that hungry. Today I just feel an emotional weight. I don't really know why. I can only assume it is from malnutrition. I also seem tongue tied and have lost my normally fairly sharp wit. I really can't believe that people do this for 30 or even 40 days. I really think people who do that must have a lot of extra weight and fat to burn off. I just don't have much to burn. I am really considering quitting again. But Erin gives me a massage with peppermint oil and that really improves my mood. I am determined to finish the cleanse! I decide to buy the ingredients for the 10th day plus some extra maple syrup that I will just sip by itself to boost my calories. On our ease out day, we decide to combine day one and two so we'll get to start eating vegetables sooner. At this point, it is a mental challenge to finish. If I were to quit today, then I would wonder what the other days days were for. I know that the number 10 doesn't by itself provide any inherent benefit. Maybe ten days isn't any more beneficial than nine. But I'll be disappointed nonetheless if I quit this close to the finish line.

Day 10 - Maybe it was just the fact that I knew I was so close to being done. But I felt pretty good today. As soon as I woke up, I knew the plan. I'd make one more batch of drink. When I finished that I'd start the ease out process. First orange juice, then vegetable broth, the whole fruits and veggies, then freedom. I am very anxious to get some other nutrients into me besides sugar and acid. But I am also resigned to complete what everyone says is the minimum time period to get benefit from the cleanse. Does the 10th day matter? Well I will say, without being too graphic, that I do believe there is more room for cleansing my gut. If this experience wasn't enough to scrub me out completely, however, then I just may never be completely cleansed.

After finishing the cleanse, both my mind and my body are different. I can't say whether I'm healthier physically. Over the past few days, I have developed a sore in my throat and a nagging cough has gotten worse instead of better. The corners of my mouth are sensitive because of all the lemon juice and red pepper, so even salad dressing hurts my lips. I neither have increased energy nor better mental focus. In fact, quite the opposite.

I have, however, taken on a different view of my weight loss. Even though I'd rather not be as light as I am, the slight gut and mini spare tire were really not doing me any good. It feels good to reset... and to know that I can reset.

As far as what food I'll start eating when set free - I will say that the food I'm craving now has changed for the healthier. So that could be a positive outcome. I have been craving fish more than any other food. Today I have been keeping to an all veggie diet, but tomorrow (what would be day 12) I'm going to buy some sashimi salmon from Najiya Market and wolf it down like a grizzly. I can't wait. I had some Pepperidge Farm cookies in my cupboard that have been calling to me over the past days, but tonight when I went to eat one, I saw the ingredients list, and just put it back. I put all this effort into putting good stuff in my body. It just seems too soon to toss that aside, especially with a fridge full of sweet tasty fruit.

Will I ever do this cleanse again? I'm not sure. Maybe if I'm overweight someday and have more fat to burn. That doesn't mean I regret the experience though. I always wanted to try it and it was a tough mental challenge. I'm glad I persevered and finished what I started. Lots of people say they could never do it - that they're just not strong enough.

But I'm proud to say that I am.